Blogging and Confidence

This post came out of me wanting to promote the fact that I'll be at the Northgate Barnes and Noble on Sunday, June 12th at 1PM. I will be talking about how I got into blogging about books as a teen, the many opportunities that it has given me, and what I learned from blogging. More information here on the Barnes and Noble Website.
If you've followed my blog for any length of time, you will know that I began this blog when I was very sick. I honestly didn't feel that I'd accomplish anything due to the migraines and pain that I experienced on a daily basis. I never thought that anything that I wrote would provide me with a community of people that care and support me. Now, I'm a graduate of Seattle University with a BA in Creative Writing and I am now pursuing my Masters in Fine Arts in Writing for Children and Young Adults. My best friends came out of blogging along with many other friendships that I treasure.
In preparation for talking about blogging, I've been reading some of my old post to remember why I began blogging so long ago and I think that it gave me an outlet to speak about the world around me. I was able to talk about books as part of a larger crowd and it is something that I love coming back to and visiting every once in a while.
Right now, I am working on the book that teen me needed and the confidence that I've gained from my Masters Program, my mentors, and my friends all lead to blogging and the confidence that it gave me the distance and skill to complete this feat. As like current me, teen me was a passionate and rapid reader. This isn't all that I plan to talk at Barnes and Noble, but it is a piece of what I plan to talk about on Sunday. If you are in the Seattle area, I'd love to see you. Either way, I hope that you have an amazing day.

Hello Again!

Greetings, Darling!
Sorry for the impromptu hiatus and disappearance from the blog. I have been super busy with many, many things. But lately, I've missed blogging a lot. So just to catch you up on my life and we can get back to talking about books!.
In June, I graduated from Seattle University with a BA in Creative Writing. The most common question is what's next for me?
That's a great question, but I have a lot that I want to do. Right now, I am doing the job search in the Seattle-Kitsap area and applying for Grad School (MFA in Creative Writing.) I am also writing a lot. I finished a draft of a novel last month and eventually in the future, I will be querying it. I have also been reading a lot of books (Over 180 for this year!)
So, thank you for sticking it out and I hope that you enjoy the new content that I have planned. It is a mix of writing and reading, but I hope that you enjoy it. Let me know how you all are doing and we'll talk soon.
Much Love, Sarah!

A Reflection on Reading and Coping

I have been open about the fact that I have been struggling with being sick, since before this blog was ever created. Part of the reason that I started this blog is that I needed not only an outlet talk to, but I had to transition from being whole to being cracked with an illness that was out of my control. Since I woke up in the most intense pain of my life, it has been over seven year and I can't remember what it was like to be pain free or healthy.
Reading helped me a lot, because I made decisions at sixteen that some people will never have to make. It made the darkness that cloaked me into a tiny ethereal aspect of my life. The reason that this post if being written is the If I Stay trailer came out and I can remember that time that I picked up that book. I was so afraid. I dropped out of high school in October 2008, because my migraines and pain were too much. Most of my body was stressed, which caused more pain to come. I was also starting the year long process of Physical Therapy to learn how to walk again.
I remember begging my mom to take me to Barnes and Noble to get Willow and If I Stay and both were not there. Luckily we went to the Liberty Bay Books and they had it. I devoured it in one sitting and Mia's pain took me away from the reality that I was facing. It allowed me to think about how I was isolating myself, because of the pain that I thought that I earned for not being a better person. Books have a power to bring me back to the moment of reading on the old fake leather couch that my mom gave away ages ago. I remember the tears as I turned the pages and how I slowly fell in love with Adam from Mia's point of view.
Now I don't think about the pain, but the words that I read and the places that they took me. Reading still helps me cope, even though the pain has become more of a dull reminder that I'm imperfect and I don't always feel as strong physically as I am mentally, but I am. This is just a long post to remind me that books stick with me and so that I can post the trailer.

Let me know what you think of the trailer in the comments, if you can type through the tears.

Friday Five

Hey guys!
It has been a while. Sorry about that. I have been busy with school and life.
Anyways, here is my Friday Five.
1. I started a new quarter last Monday. I am enjoying it. I can't believe that I only have five quarter left till I am a college graduate. That feels insane to me.
2. I am doing Seattle U Dance Marathon. I probably won't be able to dance the whole time, but I am going to try. I am really excited about it.
3.  I am going to AWP Conference! It was significantly cheaper for students and located in Seattle. I am really excited about it. There are so many panels that I am excited for. It is also my first writing conference, so it seems daunting to me. Let me know if you are going.
4. I recently finished We Were Liars and pre-order it or read it now.
5. I am currently addicted to Lies by Chvrches.

Weight and Self-Esteem

Weight has always been an issue from me. Even before I got sick, I was always insecure about showing any skin. I knew that people were looking at me and judging how I looked. When I first got sick, I lost 60 lbs and everyone was telling me that I looked amazing. I weighted under what I should. I was actually happy about this, but looking back, I looked sick. What I mostly lost was muscle from not eating and also the removal of damaged tissue and my bones stuck out.

Shortly afterward, I began to gain weight from a sedentary lifestyle and large doses of predisnone. My weight went up by a lot, like I am ashamed to admit how bad it got, more than double of my original pre-illness weight. I hated how I looked so much that I wouldn't let people take full body pictures of me. I never told anyone how psychologically messed up I was.  I stopped getting ready, because I didn't see a possibility of beautiful. It wasn't until I started walking in April of 2010 that this changed and almost three years later, I am still working on a healthy self-esteem.

Anyways, the reason for this is before my absence, I was keeping you updated to how much weight I have lost. I am now at 90 total, which is amazing. Instead of numbers, I am focusing on small goals in both my diet and exercise. I am also keeping a list that I update daily on one positive affirmation about myself that I can't repeat until next month. 

Some books that I think dealt with weight issues that I really enjoyed are Fat Cat by Robin Brande, Looks by Madeleine George, Food, Girls, and Other Things I Can't Have by Allen Zandoff, Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson, and Keeping the Moon by Sarah Dessen. Most recently, Park & Eleanor by Rainbow Rowell There are many more, but I can't think of them at this moment. Anyways, it is a work in progress and I am trying to become more happy about who I am.  If you have any suggestions on books that deal with weight or self esteem, leave them below. 

Why I Rarely Do Not Finish a Book

I have a hard time giving up on a book. Like I can totally hate it and the book can be boring me like crazy, but I have to finish this book. I am an optimist and sadly I feel that even the worst book ever will at least have a quote or something that will make all of the time that I spent is worth it. For some books, I am angry at myself for not being able to quit a book. The only time that I have been able to do it was for Cybils and that was still extremely difficult to quit at 50 pages.
I think that part of the reason is that my mom is the same way. One time, we were talking about a book that she was reading and I hated it. My mom ended up hating the book, but she still finished it. I guess it might just be the need to know if I am right or not. I think that another reason is I am always guessing if the book is predictable or not and I really like when I am right. I can also not quit series, there are only one or two that I have started that I plan to never finish.
A lot of the time that I am reading isn't at home, it is in between classes, at the doctors, at the gym and on the bus. If I decide to give up on this book, I won't have anything to read until I get home, which could be hours later and in that time, I could just read the book. Anyways, I was wondering if anyone else has this issue or if you are able to quit easily.

Being Burnt Out and General Update

So, last year, I didn't blog that much and I truly apologize about that. I am addressing that now, because I am going to try to blog more consistently. I haven't ever been quiet about being chronically sick. Pretty much with that and University, I didn't find the balance that I had previously. There was also the fact that I was burnt out. I posted daily or more from June 2009 to June 2011. I loved reading and everything, it is just that I didn't want to have to read a book, because I got it for review. I wanted to read the book that sounded good to me and that I wanted to read. Anyways, that is just an explanation of why I was gone and I wondered if anyone else has felt this way.
I just wanted to update on my life. I am in Sophomore at Seattle University. I am taking Intro to Philosophy, Writing the Personal Narrative, and History of the Ancient World. Next quarter, I am taking Astronomy of the Solar System, Philosophy of the Human Person, and A Reading Series in Brit Lit during the Victorian Ages. I am really excited for those classes and I am really enjoying the ones that I am taking.
I am also running again and enjoying it. It helps manage my illness, so I am really focusing on it.
Overall, I am really happy. So, I was wondering how everyone else was and what you have been up to.

La la...

So right now, I am watching West Side Story and don't feel good. So, my BEDA post might suck. I have a really bad headache and want to be sleeping. So that is about it... Oh Korianne posted a picture of herself when I was younger. That dress was made for me, by my neighbor Toby. I am rocking the bangs... and I have blue eyes again. I used to be cute. I might post a few more in the future, if I can get the dreaded scanner to work.

Peace out, Sarah.